i wouldn't have expected to be making frybread at the end of the world. 

 

i mean, did i have a different idea of what i'd be cooking at the end of everything anyway? 

 

the press releases about the colony ships all glossed over that part, what they'd eat. maybe they'd been ramping up to unveil some kind of non-perishable rations, like fancy protein bars or soylent. the venture capitalist startup culture type of soylent, not the people kind. probably. not literally anyway. but when you're selling tickets to go colonize the stars, the millionaires and billionaires who can afford them are gonna expect fine dining and luxury accommodations. they don't want to have to think about who's gonna prepare those meals or bleach the white linens for their sleeping pods. 

it's a weird vibe, all these sleek aesthetics and little conveniences. gotta imagine the designers expected the charging ports every few feet to be for devices a little more polished than my only-a-little-outdated, still-mostly-works-after-falling-out-of-my-pocket-in-the-bathroom-last-month phone. i imagine a billionaire would've just gotten a new phone instead of spending an hour or so cleaning out the ports, but would they have even picked it up or just left the phone in the toilet? i don't know, maybe they have access to ultra-durable and upgradeable devices the rest of us don't get. they can't have been planning to get the latest tech product launches two-day delivered to... space. 

at least the chargers are all usb-c and not lightning pin whatever. maybe because of EU standards or antitrust lawsuits or something, i heard? maybe it would be better though if i had an old classic with 120GB of carefully curated music. i wish i'd at least downloaded that Northern Cree album i was listening to, instead of filling my phone with doom and gloom current events podcasts that are... not going to be comforting to listen to on repeat for the foreseeable future. can't stream much from the next solar system, even if Earth would be able to keep broadcasting. 

 

oh, that's a pang of guilt. the people on the Long Walk weren't being picky about their entertainment options. their songs came with them in their minds, in their voices, in their culture... y'know, sorta. for some tribes. maybe there are other songs from my tribe from before colonization and assimilation and it's my fault that the only ones i know in the language are from the hymnals. i mean how much time did i spend listening to whatever mass media in english instead of practicing the songs for the northern drum? how much energy did i invest in the songs and the culture of my friends while putting in a token 5 minutes a day studying my grandfather's first language online? telling myself i'd get around to calling my great aunt some other day? i've got no right to judge anyone if listening to the missionaries was just... easier

 

it would've been nice to have had one of those hymnals to pack. to rip a few pages out and stuff in a pocket, at least. i grabbed the vhs-c that had some footage of us all singing in that little indian church, but the camcorder to play it back on was in the bag that there wasn't space for. it was wishful thinking to even take the extra 90 seconds to shove things in a bag, anyway. at the point where you're making it on the ark because you live within a mile of the base and can get there in time, while the people with tickets are a private jet flight away or at least across town in the expensive neighborhoods... there's not space for cargo. not sentimental items anyway. just the absolute basics necessary to sustain people at a minimal level. like flour. 

 

it's kind of fitting, really. fry bread is what you make when you make do. your whole way of life, your whole conception of the world, is changing in a way that you and the people around you can hardly begin to understand. i mean you understand that change very well, it's happening to you right here and right now, but what comes after? where are you headed? what will life look like in seven generations? would you even recognize your... what do you call the people you're the ancestors for? would we recognize each other's plates?

maybe the rolled cuffs of my jeans caught some dandelion seeds. that would be nice. i think you can eat part of the... leaves? stems? maybe both? if we can pick out some seeds and grow ‘em, i think that counts as some kind of salad. might be one more step towards indian tacos.