Motherhood

anonymous author

anonymous author

Motherhood. 
Harder than anything experienced until this point. 
Tears. 
Pain. 
Depression. 
Shame. 
Guilt. 
But don't worry, 
there is a little happiness sprinkled in there.
If you don't experience euphoria 
when holding your newborn baby
then you're said to be cold 
rather than being asked if you're okay.
If you aren't overjoyed with your newborn
then you're judged for being a bad mother
rather than being asked about postpartum depression.
If you say that motherhood 
isn't what you thought it would be 
you get looks of confusion and judgement
rather than being asked if you need support.
You aren't ecstatic about every little thing?
Well, you better act like it when talking to others 
so you aren't seen as a monster.
But then 
those sweet eyes look at you and a big grin happens for the first time.
Screaming.
Tantrums.
Sleep regression.
Will I ever get a full night's sleep again?
Then all of a sudden they say mama for the first time.
Now it's been an entire year and you aren't sure where all the time went.
Now walking.
Words. And more words.
Laughing. Lots of laughing.
Then running.
Full sentences.
Now you're starting to see 
their personality is just like yours.
Now you're starting to see 
how their little brain is growing and growing and growing.
Drawing.
Writing.
Love notes.
Pictures. 
Stories.
Wait, how did they get to be so tall?
What do you mean they're going to be in middle school?
Shopping. 
Sleepovers.
They went from wanting you to wanting their friends.
Time, please slow down.
Attitude.
Tears.
Independence.
Drama. Oh the teenage drama!
Driving.
First love.
First heartache.
Do they really hate me? Or was that just said in a rush of emotion?
What am I doing wrong? 
Are they happy? 
Am I giving them enough support?
Am I giving them enough independence?
How can I fit in all the lessons I need to teach them?
Time please stop.
Graduation.
Let them fly.
Watch them soar.
Will they crash?
They're not at home anymore. How will I know they're safe?
Calls.
Texts.
Silence.
Let them fly.

This story may contain adult themes. As with all library materials, caregivers are encouraged to evaluate suitability for their families.

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