Poetry
2 min
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In The Morning Light
Deanna Stanley
If I could explain myself to you, how I feel at least for a day, if you'd listen, you'd know I'm hurting in
most of the worst ways. With a smile on my face and plans to be made, I put on a show just to "save face"
It's a daily occurrence where I feel I'm not enough, or maybe It's just that you don't care to comfort me, the answer is tough. Though I try and try every single day, the more that I'm OK with simply just walking away.
They say those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter but in the reality of my world that just seems like chatter. In the morning light I see it, waiting for me to read all the words you write on a tiny note, so I'd think you were thinking of me. As I read the words I wonder, could this really be? Then the actions of the day ahead prove it's only me.
You see, I remember when you showed me your heart, with words through the tip of a pen. 2017 to be exact, things were different back then. The notes have since drifted in and out of our lives, I've noticed now I get them for good behavior, as if they are some sort of a prize.
If I could explain myself to my you, what I think and how I feel. You'd never wonder about another thing if you seen my heart needs to heal.
Appreciation is what you long for and the "Thank You's", you always get. I have to be very cautious and give them only when the task is met. If I thank you pre-maturely you truly do not see, all the gratitude and appreciation that pours out of me.
Here's another reminder of what you truly mean. You were always my Superman and that fits every category you need it to be.
With hardened hearts and time lost we are too angry to even mumble "I love you my dear", while we watch each other fumble.
In the morning light I'm angriest, that's a childhood scar. No one was around to protect me and for that I wake up hard.
Maybe I need to see someone, or maybe have someone see me. Either way it goes, I just really wish to be seen.
Seen for who I am now and all I try to be. I try to be Superwomen most days for everyone but me. I can't imagine my life different not by even one little piece. I've tried so hard to be a version of you, I just don't think I can ever compete.
Tomorrow is a new day, that's the moto you keep. Be fragile with me every day, my heart is very weak.
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